Written March 15, 2011
Quisiera estar en un lugar
Donde el aire que respiro
No tenga olor a mortedumbre
Donde la sobra
No sea la costumbre.
Quisiera estar en un lugar
Donde mis labios no te necesitan para cantar
Donde mi cancion de alegria, por medio de una botella,
No parece mentira.
Quisiera estar en un lugar
Donde la existencia de un padre
No esta cubierta por la ausencia de amor.
Necesito una mano sanadora
Que me alivia este dolor.
Quisiera estar en un lugar
Donde mi voz no cae sobre oidos sordos,
Porque mi hablar no tiene sonido si nadie lo escucha,
Donde mis pensamientos no son gritos del silencio…
…Silencio, silencio, silencio…
En medio del silencio
Encuentro este lugar.
Un aire refrescante
Donde el respiro me levanta.
Una cancion que alaba
Al unico que me da esperanza.
Estoy en un lugar donde mi padre me abraza
y dice,
“Hijo mio”
…y de repente se rompe el silencio…
Siento el frio del viento que lleva mi voz
Al corazon de un gran padre.
Lo sientes? Lo sientes? Lo sientes?
El viento habla…
Asi que prestame un oido
Para escuchar mi sonido.
Un hijo que fue dolorido
A nivel de martillo
Para perdonar a los pillos
Y liberar el cautivo.
No se si lo saben,
Pero su nombre es JesuCristo.
El nos lleva a este lugar
Lo siembra por dentro en lo profundo
Y ahora os digo que desde
Lo interior a lo exterior,
Dios nos ama, nos rescata, nos libera.
Este lugar esta aqui,
Este lugar es Esteli, Jinotega, Matagalpa, Leon, Managua,
Y se que me falta asi que es todo Nicaragua!
Este lugar esta dentro de ti.
Ya no estoy en aquel lugar,
porque ahora,
Estoy aqui.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Push Limits
Written June 8, 2013
Hope and fear seem to walk hand in hand.
We dream big but cower at the thought of an unknown future. Dreaming small makes us feel inadequate.
We are the sum of our experiences, multiplied by our passions, and divided by our burdens, all the while subtracting from the finite amount of time we have to solve the equation.
Life is confined.
In the darkness we find light. In the light, we see shadows - the magnification of our imperfections.
Barriers are created in the mind while the heart is imprisoned by our perception. Hope and fear converge at the recognizance of open eyes.
We see what we want to see.
Our eyes are fixed on discrete moments in time, moments that shape us, shake us, define us.
We find ourselves only when we are lost - one cannot find what is not lost.
In the darkness, shadows are hidden, exposed by glimpses of ilumination - we aspire to be stars.
As dreams grow, light and darkness intertwine to yield a path towards what could be, what should be, what may be, what will be.
As shadow creeps into light, it is painfully whitened. An etherial transformation by which our eyes become truly fixed...
- A Place Beyond Hope And Fear
Hope and fear seem to walk hand in hand.
We dream big but cower at the thought of an unknown future. Dreaming small makes us feel inadequate.
We are the sum of our experiences, multiplied by our passions, and divided by our burdens, all the while subtracting from the finite amount of time we have to solve the equation.
Life is confined.
In the darkness we find light. In the light, we see shadows - the magnification of our imperfections.
Barriers are created in the mind while the heart is imprisoned by our perception. Hope and fear converge at the recognizance of open eyes.
We see what we want to see.
Our eyes are fixed on discrete moments in time, moments that shape us, shake us, define us.
We find ourselves only when we are lost - one cannot find what is not lost.
In the darkness, shadows are hidden, exposed by glimpses of ilumination - we aspire to be stars.
As dreams grow, light and darkness intertwine to yield a path towards what could be, what should be, what may be, what will be.
As shadow creeps into light, it is painfully whitened. An etherial transformation by which our eyes become truly fixed...
- A Place Beyond Hope And Fear
Confession
Written May 30, 2013
I struggle. I heavily exaggerate the romance of the human experience. Knowing about me will show you that I think in excess. Knowing me will show you that I feel in excess. I'm intense. Too intense. I'm an idealist. I like to fix things, but sometimes I end up breaking them. I like to design things, but sometimes nobody asks for my schematic. I go into games without practicing. I confront time with eternity. I'm broken. My pieces gravitate in different directions. Sometimes I'm a contradiction. Sometimes I'm a hypocrite. I push, but don't let others pull. Instead of fleeing temptation, I tempt fate. Instead of accepting, I manipulate. The clutch of my heart is in the friction zone and I haven't quite figured out how to switch the gears. I see through a narrow lens framed by hubris. I should check my prescription while I'm at it. I speak logic but listen to art. I'm a brush looking for a canvas. I need more colors on my palette. Here we go.
I like control. A lot. Too much. My ego holds the reins as I steer only looking in one direction - not always forward.
I'm protective, which is extremely arrogant of me to think I can actually protect you.
I seek to be understood more than to understand. I don't comprehend different journeys than my own.
I'm stubborn. I have to make mistakes. Then I have to solve mistakes.
I travel with the intrinsic loneliness of being the only one in my vessel while the herd goes down a different path.
My name is Alberto, and I am a sinner.
I'm humbled by love. I'm transformed by grace. I stumble out of the boat and try to walk on water, all the while still looking at the boat, missing the hand that saves. But even if I don't grab, I'll never drown. I swim in an ocean of what I don't know, riding waves I can't explain.
I want to be more.
"Every time I speak to you, you inspire me to be better."
I want to be that.
Why Confess? Because it's hard. Why share? Because it's harder. Living in truth is painfully liberating.
I've realized I may not know much, but I'm getting to know me.
Teach me. Change me. Forgive me.
My name is Alberto, and I am redeemed.
I struggle. I heavily exaggerate the romance of the human experience. Knowing about me will show you that I think in excess. Knowing me will show you that I feel in excess. I'm intense. Too intense. I'm an idealist. I like to fix things, but sometimes I end up breaking them. I like to design things, but sometimes nobody asks for my schematic. I go into games without practicing. I confront time with eternity. I'm broken. My pieces gravitate in different directions. Sometimes I'm a contradiction. Sometimes I'm a hypocrite. I push, but don't let others pull. Instead of fleeing temptation, I tempt fate. Instead of accepting, I manipulate. The clutch of my heart is in the friction zone and I haven't quite figured out how to switch the gears. I see through a narrow lens framed by hubris. I should check my prescription while I'm at it. I speak logic but listen to art. I'm a brush looking for a canvas. I need more colors on my palette. Here we go.
I like control. A lot. Too much. My ego holds the reins as I steer only looking in one direction - not always forward.
I'm protective, which is extremely arrogant of me to think I can actually protect you.
I seek to be understood more than to understand. I don't comprehend different journeys than my own.
I'm stubborn. I have to make mistakes. Then I have to solve mistakes.
I travel with the intrinsic loneliness of being the only one in my vessel while the herd goes down a different path.
My name is Alberto, and I am a sinner.
I'm humbled by love. I'm transformed by grace. I stumble out of the boat and try to walk on water, all the while still looking at the boat, missing the hand that saves. But even if I don't grab, I'll never drown. I swim in an ocean of what I don't know, riding waves I can't explain.
I want to be more.
"Every time I speak to you, you inspire me to be better."
I want to be that.
Why Confess? Because it's hard. Why share? Because it's harder. Living in truth is painfully liberating.
I've realized I may not know much, but I'm getting to know me.
Teach me. Change me. Forgive me.
My name is Alberto, and I am redeemed.
Current State of Heart
Written April 6, 2012
As I sit here and gaze upon the magnificence of your creation,
I contemplate the horizon of your majesty.
I am swayed ever so gently by the waves of your promises
As I listen closely to the sound of your voice
And feel the wind of your embrace.
I’m INSPIRED.
I’ve traveled from sunrise to sunset
Across an entire nation that I call home.
As far as the east is from the west you forgive my transgressions and your kingdom expands.
I am nothing but a vessel.
I’m at the other end of the small world you’ve given me,
But to you,
An ending is just another beginning.
Your artistry reminds me of poetry.
The way nature and language intertwine to spark not only sight,
But vision.
I want to write a poem.
I want to write a poem that writes itself, just like your creation.
I want to write a poem that is subject to interpretation but needs no vindication.
I want to write a poem with an ink pen where crossing out the mistakes paints a picture of your face.
I want to write a poem where I am not the author.
I want to write a poem that empowers the reader.
I want to write a poem that is always changing but never changes.
I want to write a poem that is worth nothing, but worthy of everything.
I want to write a poem that doesn’t seek to explain, but to discover.
I want to write a poem that moves and doesn’t leave the reader stagnant.
I want to write a poem that travels long distances across a freeway of hearts.
I want to write a poem that inspires change,
Where those who need won’t need and those who want won’t want.
I want to write a poem that gives a voice to those who aren’t heard.
I want to write a poem with a loud whisper.
I want to write a poem with a gentle scream.
I want to write a conservative poem.
I want to write a liberal poem.
I want to write a poem that challenges those who agree and loves those who disagree.
I want to write a poem committed to the reader.
I want to write a poem that conquers fear.
I want to write a poem that convicts and understands.
I want to write a poem of grace and discipline.
I want to write a poem that doesn’t know where it’s going but never stops writing.
I want to write a poem that never ends.
I want to write a poem that leaves a legacy.
I want to write a poem that’s long enough to be eternal, but short enough to be remembered.
I want this poem to be FREE.
I want to write a poem that is proclaimed on a mountain top and cannot be silenced.
I want to write a poem that takes the reader by the hand to the top of that mountain.
I want to write a poem that never lets go.
I want to write a poem that the illiterate can read.
I want to write a poem that the deaf can hear.
I want to write a poem that the blind can see.
I want to write a poem that the cripple can walk.
I want to write a poem that reflects your Word,
Limited but has no limits.
I want to write a poem that reflects your Image,
The brilliant sculpture of humanity.
I want to write a poem that sacrifices.
I want to write a poem that resurrects,
That dies only to never die.
I want to write a poem compiled of other poems.
This poem has no ending.
This poem may be confusing.
This poem may be enlightening.
This poem may say too much.
This poem may say too little.
This poem WILL edify.
This poem WILL change.
This poem WILL love.
This poem WILL live.
I want to see a poem.
I want to hear a poem.
I want to smell a poem.
I want to taste, touch, and feel a poem.
I want to breathe a poem.
I want to live a poem.
I want to BE. YOUR. POEM.
As I sit here and gaze upon the magnificence of your creation,
I contemplate the horizon of your majesty.
I am swayed ever so gently by the waves of your promises
As I listen closely to the sound of your voice
And feel the wind of your embrace.
I’m INSPIRED.
I’ve traveled from sunrise to sunset
Across an entire nation that I call home.
As far as the east is from the west you forgive my transgressions and your kingdom expands.
I am nothing but a vessel.
I’m at the other end of the small world you’ve given me,
But to you,
An ending is just another beginning.
Your artistry reminds me of poetry.
The way nature and language intertwine to spark not only sight,
But vision.
I want to write a poem.
I want to write a poem that writes itself, just like your creation.
I want to write a poem that is subject to interpretation but needs no vindication.
I want to write a poem with an ink pen where crossing out the mistakes paints a picture of your face.
I want to write a poem where I am not the author.
I want to write a poem that empowers the reader.
I want to write a poem that is always changing but never changes.
I want to write a poem that is worth nothing, but worthy of everything.
I want to write a poem that doesn’t seek to explain, but to discover.
I want to write a poem that moves and doesn’t leave the reader stagnant.
I want to write a poem that travels long distances across a freeway of hearts.
I want to write a poem that inspires change,
Where those who need won’t need and those who want won’t want.
I want to write a poem that gives a voice to those who aren’t heard.
I want to write a poem with a loud whisper.
I want to write a poem with a gentle scream.
I want to write a conservative poem.
I want to write a liberal poem.
I want to write a poem that challenges those who agree and loves those who disagree.
I want to write a poem committed to the reader.
I want to write a poem that conquers fear.
I want to write a poem that convicts and understands.
I want to write a poem of grace and discipline.
I want to write a poem that doesn’t know where it’s going but never stops writing.
I want to write a poem that never ends.
I want to write a poem that leaves a legacy.
I want to write a poem that’s long enough to be eternal, but short enough to be remembered.
I want this poem to be FREE.
I want to write a poem that is proclaimed on a mountain top and cannot be silenced.
I want to write a poem that takes the reader by the hand to the top of that mountain.
I want to write a poem that never lets go.
I want to write a poem that the illiterate can read.
I want to write a poem that the deaf can hear.
I want to write a poem that the blind can see.
I want to write a poem that the cripple can walk.
I want to write a poem that reflects your Word,
Limited but has no limits.
I want to write a poem that reflects your Image,
The brilliant sculpture of humanity.
I want to write a poem that sacrifices.
I want to write a poem that resurrects,
That dies only to never die.
I want to write a poem compiled of other poems.
This poem has no ending.
This poem may be confusing.
This poem may be enlightening.
This poem may say too much.
This poem may say too little.
This poem WILL edify.
This poem WILL change.
This poem WILL love.
This poem WILL live.
I want to see a poem.
I want to hear a poem.
I want to smell a poem.
I want to taste, touch, and feel a poem.
I want to breathe a poem.
I want to live a poem.
I want to BE. YOUR. POEM.
Love, Hate
Written June 28, 2011
If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. - John 15:19
------------------------
I feel out of place.
I love a world that hates me and loves itself.
I live in a world where love is natural, conditional, and almost entirely emotional.
I live in a world where science foolishly tries to explain the why and faith foolishly tries to explain the how.
I live in a world with million dollar mega churches and zero dollar third world countries.
I live in a world where satisfaction is unattainable and contentment is not learned.
I live in a world where fear paralyzes instead of motivates.
I live in a world where you get to actually choose your spouse and the divorce rate is 60%.
I live in a world where conformity is a substitue for growth.
I live in a world where food and water is substituted for Ipads and Bentleys.
I live in a world that sees everything and does nothing.
I live in a world where equality and tolerance have to be enforced.
I live in a world where sex comes before a proper date.
I live in a world where reputation and culture matter more than love and peace.
I live in a world where men have TOO much ego, and women are TOO emotional, and both are TOO intense.
I live in a world where we are victims of our circumstances.
I live in a world where happiness is the goal in life.
I live in a world where commitment is avoided, pain is distorted, and devotion has to be earned.
I live in a world where charity is hip, or sometimes, only a trick.
I live in a world where we lie to survive and truth is a matter of opinion.
I live in a world where peace is idealistic and war is realistic.
I live in a world where love has rules.
I live in a world where rules don't rule.
I live in a world where independence is desired but not sought after.
I live in a world where individuality isn't so individual.
I live in a world where art is measured in dollar signs.
I live in a world where basketball players get paid more than teachers.
I live in a world where family is subject to interpretation.
I live in a world that has everything and everything is not enough.
I live in a world where the only radicals are those who bomb cities or hate gays.
I live in a world where hate is extreme but love is too intense.
I live in a world where beauty is observed and not generated.
I live in a world where sacrifice is not worth it.
I live in a world that makes demands but does not meet them.
I live in a world where confrontation is avoided because it is uncomfortable.
I live in a world where honesty is avoided because it involves confrontation.
I live in a world where there is no growth in comfort and no comfort in growth.
I live in a world that's scared to live because it's too selfish to die.
I live in a world where alcohol fixes sadness.
I live in a world where revenge fixes anger.
I live in a world where silence fixes injustice.
I live in a world where this message may stir hearts but won't stir action.
. . .
I've seen a world where love overcomes the very sacrifices it demands unconditionally.
I've seen a world where science and faith heal bodies and souls.
I've seen a world where kids who eat trash worship God because He takes care of them.
I've seen a world where humility precedes honor.
I've seen a world where marriage is a covenant not a contract.
I've seen a world that seeks to be uncomfortable to build character.
I've seen a world where needs are provided and wants are subsided.
I've seen a world where the response to injustice is revolution.
I've seen a world where collaboration and cooperation don't need to be enforced.
I've seen a world where sex is a product of love and commitment, not of lust and desire.
I've seen a world where love confronts culture and has little regard for reputation.
I've seen a world where love is intensely unifying and never TOO much.
I've seen a world where contentment and circumstances are independent of each other.
I've seen a world where faithfulness is the goal, and happiness is just a side effect.
I've seen a world where devotion is a product of grace, and pain is not feared but embraced.
I've seen a world where charity is both a sacrifice and a blessing.
I've seen a world where the truth liberates, and lies destroy.
I've seen a world where peace is not just observed, but practiced.
I've seen a world where love breaks rules.
I've seen a world where love sets the right rules.
I've seen a world where independence is an empowering struggle.
I've seen a world united in diversity.
I've seen a world where art is a process, that process is a journey, and the destination doesn't matter.
I've seen a world where teaching is appreciated and learning is a gift.
I've seen a world where family creates a home, not just a house.
I've seen a world where you can never be too generous.
I've seen a world where a radical love has no gender, race, language, color, shape, or size.
I've seen a world where love is extremely peaceful and intensely powerful, and hate is only detrimental to the hater.
I've seen a world where beauty is not limited to the eye of the beholder.
I've seen a world that sacrifices anything for love and accepts everything because of love.
I've seen a world where relationships are demanding, and fruitful because of it.
I've seen a world where problems bring resolution, not more problems.
I've seen a world where honesty is valued, desired, and constructive.
I've seen a world where painless stagnancy is uncomfortable and painful growth is comfortable.
I've seen a world that fearlessly dies to self and lives for others.
I've seen a world where love conquers sadness.
I've seen a world where love conquers anger.
I've seen a world where love conquers injustice.
I've seen a world where love conquers all.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
Despite the world I live in, it's the world I see that makes me alive.
I'll stay out of place.
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world." - C.S. Lewis
If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. - John 15:19
------------------------
I feel out of place.
I love a world that hates me and loves itself.
I live in a world where love is natural, conditional, and almost entirely emotional.
I live in a world where science foolishly tries to explain the why and faith foolishly tries to explain the how.
I live in a world with million dollar mega churches and zero dollar third world countries.
I live in a world where satisfaction is unattainable and contentment is not learned.
I live in a world where fear paralyzes instead of motivates.
I live in a world where you get to actually choose your spouse and the divorce rate is 60%.
I live in a world where conformity is a substitue for growth.
I live in a world where food and water is substituted for Ipads and Bentleys.
I live in a world that sees everything and does nothing.
I live in a world where equality and tolerance have to be enforced.
I live in a world where sex comes before a proper date.
I live in a world where reputation and culture matter more than love and peace.
I live in a world where men have TOO much ego, and women are TOO emotional, and both are TOO intense.
I live in a world where we are victims of our circumstances.
I live in a world where happiness is the goal in life.
I live in a world where commitment is avoided, pain is distorted, and devotion has to be earned.
I live in a world where charity is hip, or sometimes, only a trick.
I live in a world where we lie to survive and truth is a matter of opinion.
I live in a world where peace is idealistic and war is realistic.
I live in a world where love has rules.
I live in a world where rules don't rule.
I live in a world where independence is desired but not sought after.
I live in a world where individuality isn't so individual.
I live in a world where art is measured in dollar signs.
I live in a world where basketball players get paid more than teachers.
I live in a world where family is subject to interpretation.
I live in a world that has everything and everything is not enough.
I live in a world where the only radicals are those who bomb cities or hate gays.
I live in a world where hate is extreme but love is too intense.
I live in a world where beauty is observed and not generated.
I live in a world where sacrifice is not worth it.
I live in a world that makes demands but does not meet them.
I live in a world where confrontation is avoided because it is uncomfortable.
I live in a world where honesty is avoided because it involves confrontation.
I live in a world where there is no growth in comfort and no comfort in growth.
I live in a world that's scared to live because it's too selfish to die.
I live in a world where alcohol fixes sadness.
I live in a world where revenge fixes anger.
I live in a world where silence fixes injustice.
I live in a world where this message may stir hearts but won't stir action.
. . .
I've seen a world where love overcomes the very sacrifices it demands unconditionally.
I've seen a world where science and faith heal bodies and souls.
I've seen a world where kids who eat trash worship God because He takes care of them.
I've seen a world where humility precedes honor.
I've seen a world where marriage is a covenant not a contract.
I've seen a world that seeks to be uncomfortable to build character.
I've seen a world where needs are provided and wants are subsided.
I've seen a world where the response to injustice is revolution.
I've seen a world where collaboration and cooperation don't need to be enforced.
I've seen a world where sex is a product of love and commitment, not of lust and desire.
I've seen a world where love confronts culture and has little regard for reputation.
I've seen a world where love is intensely unifying and never TOO much.
I've seen a world where contentment and circumstances are independent of each other.
I've seen a world where faithfulness is the goal, and happiness is just a side effect.
I've seen a world where devotion is a product of grace, and pain is not feared but embraced.
I've seen a world where charity is both a sacrifice and a blessing.
I've seen a world where the truth liberates, and lies destroy.
I've seen a world where peace is not just observed, but practiced.
I've seen a world where love breaks rules.
I've seen a world where love sets the right rules.
I've seen a world where independence is an empowering struggle.
I've seen a world united in diversity.
I've seen a world where art is a process, that process is a journey, and the destination doesn't matter.
I've seen a world where teaching is appreciated and learning is a gift.
I've seen a world where family creates a home, not just a house.
I've seen a world where you can never be too generous.
I've seen a world where a radical love has no gender, race, language, color, shape, or size.
I've seen a world where love is extremely peaceful and intensely powerful, and hate is only detrimental to the hater.
I've seen a world where beauty is not limited to the eye of the beholder.
I've seen a world that sacrifices anything for love and accepts everything because of love.
I've seen a world where relationships are demanding, and fruitful because of it.
I've seen a world where problems bring resolution, not more problems.
I've seen a world where honesty is valued, desired, and constructive.
I've seen a world where painless stagnancy is uncomfortable and painful growth is comfortable.
I've seen a world that fearlessly dies to self and lives for others.
I've seen a world where love conquers sadness.
I've seen a world where love conquers anger.
I've seen a world where love conquers injustice.
I've seen a world where love conquers all.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
Despite the world I live in, it's the world I see that makes me alive.
I'll stay out of place.
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world." - C.S. Lewis
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