I had an interview last night at approximately 12:30 am. It took place through the medium of text messaging and was perhaps the most meaningful interview I've had in a while. No, it wasn't for a job, it was a friend. He was asking me some pretty important questions. What would I do with a substantial amount of money saved up? What skills do I possess? What have I mastered? What sets me apart from others? What's the next step in my career? In life? Lucky for him, these are all things that I regularly think about so I actually had some answers. However, I started contemplating what it takes to answer those questions. Being a goal oriented person, I often forgo understanding for the sake of efficiency. I tend to think critically, developing a process that makes sense and then executing it. In doing so, I realized something rather important about the process of becoming who you want to be. It involves relationship.
Before I go into this, I would highly recommend getting yourself one of these interviewing friends. They come in handy.
I've wondered why people (myself included) struggle so much achieving certain goals. In theory, it should be simple: make a plan, do it, the end. However, perhaps there's more to it than that. See, who we set out to be or what we set out to do has a very critical relationship with who or what is affected by it. I think that understanding this relationship is vital to our personal development.
Psychology points to these relationships quite frequently. As children, our parents tend to serve as the model for everything from love to what we decide for our careers. It's rather obvious, and most people would agree, that this is perhaps the most crucial relationship as we develop physically, mentally, and emotionally. There's an important element that relationships have that I feel is sometimes overlooked: they're two sided. Maybe, the best way to achieve proper growth is understanding the other side. I'll go as far as to say that it's the most important aspect of maturity.
I have a goal, one I'm quite passionate about. I want to be a good father one day. The next question becomes, how do I go about doing that? What can I do RIGHT NOW to contribute to this goal? I'm not a father, and I'm not married, but I am a son. Seeing as the most common way of learning is observing example, then perhaps the key to being a good father is being able to set the example of being a good son. That's something I can do right now! It makes sense, crawl before you can walk, walk before you can run. Do you want to be a good parent one day? First learn how to be a good son or daughter, then learn how to be a good wife or husband.
This idea can be applied to most of the broad goals that we want to achieve. Want to be a good teacher? First learn to be a student. Good communicator? First learn to listen. Good leader? First learn to follow. Good doctor? First learn to be a good patient. Good engineer? First learn to be a good technician. Good film maker? First learn how to watch film. Want to receive? Learn to give. Want honesty? Respect? Learn to give more. Want to love? Learn how to be loved. Want to be a disciple? Live SONSHIP.
I don't think it's coincidence that we can learn most of these things simultaneously through learning to be good sons and daughters. That's our very first job, and perhaps the most important.
We encounter different stages in life, but with this perspective, we know where the process starts. I don't know about you, but I have a lot of work to do.
"What skills would you say you've mastered?"
"I haven't mastered anything."
"I knew you'd say that."
